Silence was the way their family handled conflict. It was a longstanding pattern. If two or more family members were at odds, just don't talk. There was a cold silence when they gathered for meals. No eye contact between the offended parties. The children learned this behavior from the parents. When they became adults, they carried the same pattern into marriage and family life. No, there was never any screaming or lashing out at each other. Neither were problems ever discussed openly and honestly. Feelings were not shared. Pretend like nothing happened. Remain silent and move on to the next task. It seemed to work as far as avoiding unsightly situations. However, the family bond was weakened over the years, and the parents had long since entered what some call a "silent divorce."
Expect family disagreements. It's normal to have disagreements where you have two or more people. Healthy relationships maintain the right to have different opinions. When a conflict arises in the family, don't try to avoid it at any cost. It resolves nothing.
Identify family disagreements. Problems in the family cannot be resolved until people honestly admit the situation. Sometimes a family member fears causing trouble by admitting a disagreement. However, the trouble is already there. Denying a problem and keeping it secret is a sign of a dysfunctional family.
Talk through family problems. It's important for a husband and wife to talk through their problems. Even if a resolution is not found, we should respect each other's opinions. Listening is so important. After all, there may be a misunderstanding through miscommunication. Simply listening to the other person's problem shows love and consideration. This may often lead to resolving the conflict.
Pray together about family problems. Remember, God loves each member of your family and he cares about all of our problems. Ask for God's wisdom (James 1:5) and peace in resolving disagreements. Praying together and talking together is far better than pretending there is no problem.
Accept the person with whom you disagree. Don't alienate or withdraw from a family member because you disagree. A loving, accepting relationship is more important than demanding agreement on every issue. Parents can model this in their marriage before their children.
Expect family disagreements. It's normal to have disagreements where you have two or more people. Healthy relationships maintain the right to have different opinions. When a conflict arises in the family, don't try to avoid it at any cost. It resolves nothing.
Identify family disagreements. Problems in the family cannot be resolved until people honestly admit the situation. Sometimes a family member fears causing trouble by admitting a disagreement. However, the trouble is already there. Denying a problem and keeping it secret is a sign of a dysfunctional family.
Talk through family problems. It's important for a husband and wife to talk through their problems. Even if a resolution is not found, we should respect each other's opinions. Listening is so important. After all, there may be a misunderstanding through miscommunication. Simply listening to the other person's problem shows love and consideration. This may often lead to resolving the conflict.
Pray together about family problems. Remember, God loves each member of your family and he cares about all of our problems. Ask for God's wisdom (James 1:5) and peace in resolving disagreements. Praying together and talking together is far better than pretending there is no problem.
Accept the person with whom you disagree. Don't alienate or withdraw from a family member because you disagree. A loving, accepting relationship is more important than demanding agreement on every issue. Parents can model this in their marriage before their children.
