Husbands have a need for respect. A wife who really loves her husband, respects him in word and deed. A man's need for respect from his wife is more important to him than a wife may know. He wants to be her hero. Men are shown love through specific gender needs.
Wives have different gender needs. She desires to be loved in such a way that she feels cherished. She wants him to make her feel special, with assurance that she is most important in his life. She needs to know that his desire is for her, and that no one can take her place. She needs to know that he will care for her, and always be there for her.
Understanding different male-female gender needs is a key to understanding your marriage. Most husband-wife conflicts are caused by misunderstanding. Therefore, it is so important to understand that your spouse has different needs in marriage.
A husband loves his wife by meeting specific gender needs. These may include listening to her share her heart in meaningful conversation. She needs to be understood. She needs to be nurtured in the arms of love. She needs to know how precious she is to her husband. She needs to know that he will be there for her.
"Do you really love me?" Those words from a wife to her husband must be translated from one gender to another. Translation: Would you please reaffirm your love for me in word and deed. She needs to be reaffirmed as being that special person, the one and only, to her husband.
A wife becomes needy when she fears that she will never get what she needs out of her marriage. When she becomes needy, she may complain. Male translation: I can't make her happy. She doesn't respect me. Result: arguments and conflict. She needs to be understood.
Marriage is about understanding and meeting needs. Transparency and heart to heart communication is the key to expressing love for one another. Love listens. The Bible describes the basic needs of a husband and wife. "Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33).